


where are you? | nct(jaeyong as a side ship)

by yiiiilling



Series: "anxiety, depression, true broken souls" [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 08:10:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21096230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yiiiilling/pseuds/yiiiilling
Summary: It was a long time Jaehyun was dead, but Taeyong never knew. He always thought he was just missing. But then, as many countless days go by, and Taeyong starts getting miserable, he's driven to suicidal thoughts.As much as he wants to kill himself, he couldn't forget about his younger cousin, Jisung, and what would he do without him.But unfortunately, fate had to be something else.





	where are you? | nct(jaeyong as a side ship)

Every day when Taeyong tried to sleep, he always thought what could’ve happened to him, he always did. Some days, he would even cry himself to sleep when the pain was too unbearable. But today, it was really different.

Today, he just stayed up late, dozed off so many times to count, he couldn’t even sleep if he tried to. He couldn’t think anymore, he just couldn’t. Thinking about him so many times left him, confused, scared, worried, regretful, too many emotions.

_ “Love, you will always remember when this time happened right?” He said to Taeyong, with tears in his eyes. Taeyong nods, still hugging him, knowing one day, maybe this moment will just remain as a memory. _

_“Don’t leave me.” Taeyong whispers, crying softly in the embrace _

_•_

It did although become a memory. A few days after that day, he went missing. Taeyong tried finding him, even calling, but there was no hope at all. He even filed a missing person report to the police, but they couldn’t even find him. At this point, Taeyong was losing all his hope.

That’s when suicidal thoughts took over him. He couldn’t think about anything else. Just suicide. It was depression taking over, suicidal thoughts taking over, everything. It attacked Taeyong a lot, affected him a lot, even his friends noticed.

“Taeyong-ah, are you okay? You don’t look fine.” His younger cousin, Jisung asks. Taeyong didn’t want to make Jisung scared, knowing that he’d freak out, or even consult things that Taeyong didn’t want at all. But, Taeyong did stay silent. Jisung sighs, “Taeyong, you don’t need to hide. I know what happened, it’s alright, I’m sad too, especially when he took care of me when you were overseas. We’re both in this together.” And when he says this, Taeyong started crying. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. And from this, Jisung gives Taeyong a warm hug, telling him that it’s okay.

To this day, Jisung still visits Taeyong, but only a month, as he became much busier these days. After all, he was a 17-year-old living his life.

It took a while until finally, Taeyong slept. He just couldn’t stay awake any longer, himself being tired just took over him.

_ Taeyong woke up in a flower garden, looking around amazed by the scenery. He stood up from the bed, which more like actually looked like a coffin. He touched one of the vines but kept doing so to the other ones, as it amazed him from the touch sense it gave him. _

_ He finally reached the end of the hall, seeing a door. He thinks before he opens the door, “Maybe it won’t be as bad as I think it would be.” He tells himself. With one deep breath, he just places his hand on the doorknob and opens the door. _

_ “Jaehyun?” Taeyong says, in question. It was __him, the one he tried finding. _ _ Jaehyun smiles, taking Taeyong’s hand. At this point, it’s obvious to suspect that Taeyong was crying. Was it God’s plan for Jaehyun to be talking with him only now? _

_“_ _Where are you?” Taeyong asks Jaehyun, questioning. _

_Jaehyun smiles once again, but sadly, “You’re with me now Taeyong. I’m dead, you are too.” Jaehyun moves his hand around the water, with Taeyong looking at the water. _

Jisung went to Taeyong’s place, repeatedly ringing the doorbell. “He’s probably sleeping at this hour. But it’s 8 a.m, why would he still be asleep?” Jisung asks himself. He shrugs. He decides to use his spare key to Taeyong’s house. As he opens the door, he finds it clean. 

“Taeyong’s not in the kitchen? That’s weird, he’s always in the kitchen.” Jisung tells himself. He’s starting to panic. He knows something is wrong with Taeyong. He runs to Taeyong’s bedroom and was it the scene he didn’t want to see.

Jisung called 119, scared. Once he finished the call, he called Mark, explaining what’s going on. His voice was shaking badly, _ no 17-year-old shouldn’t have to experience such a scene in front of their eyes. _

When Mark arrived, he ran up to Taeyong’s room, seeing Jisung crying badly. His heart ached to see the scene unfold in front of him. “Jisung ah, how did this happen?” Mark asks in concern, also starting to feel very scared.

“I don’t know,” Jisung says, “When I arrived, I used my spare key that Taeyong gave me, I just ran up to the room and I just saw him like this. I don’t know what happened-” Jisung says through sobs.

Shortly after, the ambulance arrived, and Taeyong was taken in. Jisung and Mark went in the ambulance too, Mark there to comfort Jisung, knowing that he might’ve lost his Hyung.

_ “God, what I have done?” Taeyong asks himself, regretting what he did. Jaehyun hugs Taeyong, who immediately started crying. Taeyong couldn’t believe it, he put Jisung into a state where he would regret it. _

_“_ _Taeyong ah, it’s okay.” Jaehyun whispers, kissing the older’s forehead. _

_T_ _aeyong shook his head, “I died Jaehyun, he’s scared, sad, just because of me. It’s not okay.” _

_“You know, you can go back, but only for a little bit. I’ll tell you when you have to come back, alright?” Taeyong nods to the younger, and a light begins to conquer his sight. _

He was in the hospital room. Blinking repeatedly. He looked at the monitor, _ no heartbeat at all. _ He was _dead_. He saw Jisung, sitting at the chair, crying, Mark standing outside with five other teenagers, who were also friends with Jisung.

The heartbeat monitor slowly started getting heartbeats, where Taeyong was starting to wake up in the hospital bed, Jisung running to the bed hearing the heartbeat monitor beat. “Taeyong…” Taeyong looked to the side and gave Jisung a small smile. “Jisung-ah, I won’t be alive for too long, my time is limited.”

Jisung shook his head, “No Taeyong, please, stay with me!” Tears fell down Jisung’s cheeks as he begged.

Taeyong let out a hard sigh, “Jisungie, I know it will be hard saying goodbye, but please, for the sake of myself, _ please let me go.” _But this made Jisung cry even more tears.

“But then, where would be my cousin who’d take care of me? Who’d always help solve my problems?”

_ “Your time is almost up Taeyong.” _

The voice in Taeyong’s head went. Time goes fast, doesn’t it?

Taeyong let out a sigh, caressing his younger cousin’s cheek, “Don’t worry, I’ll come to see you again Jisung,” he then moves his hand to where his heart was.

“I’ll always be here, and your mind. I’ll help you with your decisions, and with your life. Live a happy one.”

_ “Time’s up now.” _

Taeyong let out a breath, “I have to go now Jisungie, _ I’ll see you soon alright~” _

And by that, his eyes close, and the heartbeat monitor shows a line.

_ Taeyong is now gone. _

Jisung let out a shaky breath, trying to accept the fact that now, his cousin is gone, but the tears fell once more again, his hands shaking, holding onto Taeyong’s hand.

But he felt a pat on his shoulder and felt a back hug.

He looked to his side and saw a translucent Taeyong.

“Remember Jisung, I’ll always be by your side.”

Then Jaehyun appears with a smile, and he pats his shoulder. “Me too.” 

Now Jisung knew, he’d never be alone.

** _But really, will he really never be alone?_ **

** _The End._ **

**This story is in relation to "remember me", so don't forget to read it!**


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